ITS GOOOOOOD

I just realized. School around this time is really, really terrible.

It's like ... SUMMER IS RIGHT THERE, but of course, life just comes in between us and separates us :(

Stupid finals.
Stupid projects.
Stupid tests.
Stupid regents.

-_- This is not fun.

lets face it.

School is so stupid. 

This'll be a quickie; just killing some time before I do some other things.

re·treat 

1) I can't sleep.
2) Everyone's feeling crappy, so I didn't want to end a blog talking about what's going on.
3) It's so late :( I just re-read my blog and it looks like a 12 year old wrote it; no flow and it had grammatical errors. Oh well.


Am I the only one who finds puns really amusing? 
1) I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2) I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
3) Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
4) It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
5) I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
6) There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'
7) I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
8) I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
9) I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
10) He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.


jajajaja, kekekeke, fufufu. :)


Okay, okay. Forget that. I'll do one of those quizzer-majiggers. Oh boy, that's when you know I'm bored. Haha. I NEVER DO THOSE!




When's the last time you ran? - today, cuz it rained like a jerk.
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? - yeahhh, but those are soooo last year
What are you dreading right now? - that i can't sleep...
Do you celebrate 420? - duhh! :)
Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? - what's thatt???
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do? - ... i wouldn't open the door at all.
Who last grabbed your ass? - jerry ho ... AND THAT SHOULD SAY BUTT!
Have you ever been on your school's track team? - haha, too lazy.
Do you own a pair of Converse? - yeap.
Did you copy and paste this survey? - yerup
Do you eat raw cookie dough? - do you feast on rat eyes?
Have you ever kicked a vending machine? - that thing ate my dollar!
Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? - you read my mind!
Do you watch Trading Spaces? - huhhh?
How do you eat oreos? - .. in my mouth, i guess.
Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? - yeah, it suckedd
Are you cocky? - HERPDERPYES. :)
Could you live without a computer? - probably         .. not :)
Do you wear your shoes in the house? - im asian, bro.
Who or what sleeps with you? - its only me myself and i, boss.
At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real? - santa's not real?
How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? - a lot dud.
What do you do when you're sad? - nothing.
Who would you call first if you won the lottery? - no one, why would i call you? its MY MONEY.
Last time you saw your best friend? - friday?
Are you in high school? - loving it
What jewelry are you wearing? - necklace?
Is anyone on your bad side now? - not that i know of
What's the first thing you do when you get online? - open 4 tabs for email, facebook, youtube, and school email.
Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? - i dont even watch tv.
How do most people spell your name? - waoidjsaoidjoihym. embarassing, i know.
Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? - i would wear my own clothes. yup.
Where do you work? - nowhere :(
What are you doing tomorrow? - going to church  isuppose.
Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? - WHAUHWTWUAOHTWHAT???
Favorite name for a girl? - Obama.
Favorite name for a boy? - Jesus.
Will you keep your last name when you get married? - im a boss, yes i will.
When was the last time you left your house? - today.
Do you return your cart? - yeaaaa, eesh im too kind
Do you have a dishwasher? - yep
What noise do you hear? - music
Would you survive in prison? - so long as i don't drop that bar!
Who is the youngest in your family? - meeeeeeeeee
If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likey overpack? - ..hmm, retreat on monday. AARON!
Do you know anyone with the same name as you? - yeeessirreeee
What's the last thing you purchased? - pizza.
Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? - yeaahhhh :D
What brand are your pants right now? - i took em off just to check! BULLHEADS
Ever been to Georgia (the state)? - no, ever met my fist? YESSS!
What irritates you most on the internet? - lagg.
What brand is your digital camera? - i aint no camwhore
Do you watch movies with your parents? - hah, sike.
What song best describes your life right now? - El Chombo - Macarron Chacarron. PLEASE LISTEN LOL
Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? - define expensive.
Are you taking college classes right now? - CollegeNOW
Do you like sushi? - yessirr!
Do you get your hair cut every month? - i must.
Do you go online everyday? - pretty much.
Will you pass this survey on to 5 people? - NOPE!

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? - whatever it wants!
Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? - i aint no jew. sorry jesus!
Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? - it dont matter. long as im sleeping.
Have you ever stolen a street sign before? - people do that?
Do you like to use post-it notes? - no.
Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? - i don't cut out coupons.
Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? - how about, neither?
Do you have freckles? - no.
Do you always smile for pictures? - no.
What is your biggest pet peeve? - people who say no twice in a row.
Do you ever count your steps when you walk? - i count the steps for a stairway. lol
Have you ever peed in the woods? - yeup 
What about pooped in the woods? - neup
Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? - yeup
Do you chew your pens and pencils? - neup
How many people have you slept with this week? - 1.    <3           it's just me, relax.
What size is your bed? - the size of me, no lie.
What is your Song of the week? - none.
Is it okay for guys to wear pink? - why wear anything?
Do you still watch cartoons? - no.
Whats your least favorite movie? - none. 
Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? - inside me.
What do you drink with dinner? - water
What do you dip a chicken nugget in? - blood.
What is your favorite food? - idk, anything :)
What movies could you watch over and over and still love? - Wall-E, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., and so much moreee.
Last person you kissed/kissed you? - some queer.
Were you ever a boy/girl scout? - girl scout baby.
Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? - i do this on a daily basis.
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? - uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Can you change the oil on a car? - one day i will.
Ever gotten a speeding ticket? - one day i will.
Ran out of gas? - one day i will.
Favorite kind of sandwich? - as long as its made by you.
Best thing to eat for breakfast? - milk and cereal.
What is your usual bedtime? - 12ish?
Are you lazy? - yeahhhhhhhhhuhhhhh
When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? - its like scream with a tongue hanging out and he always did "WAZZUPPP"
What is your Chinese astrological sign? - PIGGY
How many languages can you speak? - like, three billion minus the billion. fluently? one.
Do you have any magazine subscriptions? - nope.
Which are better legos or lincoln logs? - legos for sure.
Are you stubborn? - sometimes.
Who is better...Leno or Letterman? - kimmel!
Ever watch soap operas? - haha nope.
Afraid of heights? - sort of.
Sing in the car? - yes!
Dance in the shower? - yes!
Dance in the car? - yes!
Ever used a gun? - one of these days.
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? - mug shot.
Do you think musicals are cheesy? - some.
Is Christmas stressful? - sometimes.
Ever eat a pierogi? - obviously not.
Favorite type of fruit pie? - meat pie.
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? - a superhero.
Do you believe in ghosts? - yeah
Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? - yeah
Take a vitamin daily? - nope
Wear slippers? - yeah
Wear a bath robe? - nope
What do you wear to bed? - boxers
First concert? - some wack one :[
Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? - H-MART!
Nike or Adidas? - Both.
Cheetos Or Fritos? - Both.
Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? - Both.
Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? - why.. would.. you.... care...
Ever take dance lessons? - No.
Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? - she just a bossssss sonnn
Can you curl your tongue? - Yessireeee.
Ever won a spelling bee? - no, i couldn't spell neseccary ... DARN IT. jkjkjk.
Have you ever cried because you were so happy? - no
Own any record albums? - no.
Own a record player? - no.
Regularly burn incense? - no, but i do regularly burn! jk. im so bad :(
Ever been in love? - yeah!
Who would you like to see in concert? - me
What was the last concert you saw? - hillsong 
Hot tea or cold tea? - right now, hot.
Tea or coffee? - depends, usually tea.
Sugar or snickerdoodles? - what are snickerdoodles?
Can you swim well? - i guess.
Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? - people can't hold their breath without holding their nose? LOL
Are you patient? - somewhat.
DJ or band, at a wedding? - never thought about it.
Ever won a contest? - don't think so :(
Ever have plastic surgery? - yeah, i'm a tranny.
Which are better black or green olives? - olives are disgusting.
Can you knit or crochet? - im a man.
Best room for a fireplace? - the room that has the fireplace.
Do you want to get married? - yes.
If married, how long have you been married? - til' i die, baby.
Who was your HS crush? - im still in highschool.
Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? - i used to. lol.
Do you have kids? - yeah!
Do you want kids? - yeah!
Whats your favorite color? - um, it's complicated.
Do you miss anyone right now? - i actually do, lol.
Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX? - did you watch, ASK ME IF I CARE ABOUT THESE SHOWS >:O




oh boy. im a loser. good riddance. at least im tired; after 160 questions.

Hello world.


Just felt a little inspired by Easter Sim's blog, yeah, I'm late. 


This whole "responsibility" and "stretching" seems to be more like "tearing" us all up. I'm sure no details need be mentioned, besides, I'm not here to write essays. 


Now, I feel I can put some input here easier. (Primarily because I'm too lazy to speak and not in any mood to debate/argue)


So here are some questions I've been asking myself during these past weeks:
1) Do I want to go to church today? 
2) Why don't I want to go to church today?
3) What's wrong at church that makes me not want to go today?


Nowadays, I've come to view church as work. Work, work, work. And not in a positive way either. If we come to serve God at church, should we be serving Him half-heartedly? What's the purpose of being able to do "so many glorious things for God" if only a hardened heart remains afterwards? Not that I'm trying to imply that this is my attitude towards everything, but honestly, I feel it coming to such a point. Constantly, I hear how "good" it is to feel "over-burdened" and "stressed out" and "stretched". 


What's the purpose of having so much on our 'plates' if we can't finish it?


Like Sir Demetri said, don't do anything if you can't take responsibility. (something like that)


So, the main problem I see going on right now is that only a small bunch of us are doing ... hmm, how do I put this... Everything? But we're not asking you, or I'm not at least, to do everything for us. But why is there more "food", if I can use that term, being added to our plates? I'm all for growing and learning more, but isn't there a limit to the rate of growth one can experience? I'm not a fan of shoving down the entire Bible down people's throats along with other responsibilities. 


I completely understand the magnitude of stress and pressure put upon the leaders, it totally exceeds ours; in fact, my amount of work may seem insignificant compared to the other youth in New Wave. But if this is the case, then why are the same people constantly being forced to do every thing the church needs? Because there aren't any more people to do it? Then why are we searching for more things to do. Why is it necessary to have hundreds of ministries that only five of the same people can do at the same time? 


Again, I'm all for being able to serve God in different ways. Such a diverse amount of ministries can help a lot of people find out their calling from God. But that only works for a large group of people. How can, I'd say about 20, of the same people be called to do one hundred things? It's impossible because we are not omnipotent. We can't do everything. Remember, I'm not just referring to what the New Wave officers do, I'm talking about the church in general. That's why I feel Ebenezer take some time and build itself up, rather than other churches. I've always felt that the church was picking other churches up without even getting up itself. Reaching the neighborhood was a great idea. Doing things that can help maintain the church are great. Needing to be in every church's event is not so cool. I must say this AGAIN, but I'm not saying that any of these things are bad. Of course we should be spreading out the word of God and the gospel, but I can recall a summer where Ebenezer was doing something for every church. I'm barely exaggerating. The church needs more people to support it's number of ministries, that's all I'm trying to say. We have had so many, and many of them have been diminished due to the fact that barely any people can support it because they are already doing everything else. Green club, Otaku club, remember those?


I feel the problem erupting currently is not about exactly what we have to do, but the time at which this is all being laid down upon us. When we're pressured to do well in school, church becomes a burden. In the summer time, or any break in general, we are ready to serve (because we have no life?). Although we are not 'forced' to do anything, it feels forced regardless. I've had the liberty to take off a few weeks of Friday service, and it felt amazing. Not by the fact that I didn't need to go to church, but I could take a break. 


Hopefully, this doesn't make Ebenezer seem like a prison to be in, but maybe this can paint an image of how 'imprisoned' we feel. I agree, all of this jazz will one day have us grow and become more mature. But is this the only way we can be nurtured? Is being forced to do everything the only way for someone to grow in God? Or is it the fact that some people have been in church for so long, it's only fair that they should do everything? 


I don't want to come off as whiny. I'm just listing my ideas and how I feel about the current situation. Perhaps neither of us can understand how any of us feel. The leaders think it's good, the kids think it's bad; or maybe I'm just speaking for both parties. But, I do think I'm stating unanimous information. 


I'm glad some of our complaints are being met at least. You know, Friday worship once a month and voluntary Saturday meets. If the way we feel truly is understood, then actions to relieve us are just as justified. The act of telling us that doing what we do is good and should be continued means we're being forced. I feel obligated to stay in all my roles because I am forced, believe it or not. No matter how many times we had complained, we were simply told to "keep doing it because it's good" even though we heard "I don't want to do this to you if you feel forced." No, I'm not talking about JP. I'm just talking about all the leaders who have told me (and us) this. 


Okay, I've been writing this for a bit, trying to compile my ideas. If you read this, awesome! If not, well, at least I blogged, right? This is what I'm talking about, haha. Everything around here is just work. To blog is to work. Doing all these things are great, but not when we feel like it's a job to do it. If there's no love behind something, why continue? But, don't worry JP. I kind of like blogging, let's me think, ahaha. I just don't see the need of having all these things set and made to feel like homework. School is a teenager's worst friend, stop making us feel like we're with it on weekends too. 


Our fellow leader Demetri likes taking breaks, and I do too. 


Good night, no hard feelings y'all. :)

This week was a bittersweet week, it's Friday already, but it was tough to get here. With crappy weather, a terrible school schedule, and tests and quizzes, I must say I am too tired to do ANYTHING. Not only have I been caught up with inside-school stuff, I've got projects.

probably the only good thing about being able to take latin class is having awesome latin phrases that you don't understand. 

god.

good day. many apologies for not turning in a blog yesterday, i totally failed my goal of the week. but i have an excuse! i had no internet and i wasn't even home! beat that. but still, many apologies. 

been wondering what my future is going to be. curious of what my passions are and what i can't stand doing. haven't had much luck deciding my future, even though it has been decided by god. yeah, sure, he knows what's to become of me, but i don't know right now.


okay, i love music and all; but when i really think about doing music, i know it won't work out.
i've wanted to become a chef, only because of foodnetwork, but i don't see myself cooking because i don't know how to, haha.
i've wanted to be a vet because i love animals, but can i really make it that far?


my mind is blank when someone asks me what i see myself doing in 10 years, because honestly .. i'm unsure.


sorry for a short post, but weekends are busy for me and i'm rushing to get today's blog in. definitely more food for thought during weekdays.


god, i'm lost. please help!

http://www.donghaeng.net/english/main.htm

good old donghaeng. if you need encouragement, definitely go and check out the site.


it offers prayer room and inspirational flash videos.


checkit! 

i wonder where the purity has gone in the youth of 2011. or even back in 2010, 2009, 2008. i can't even seem to remember when your average 12 year old kid had no idea about sex, drugs, alcohol etc. heck, i still believed girls peed out of their butts when i was around 12.


too much information ...


especially going to bayside, home of the potheads, all i get to hear is people asking to buy some blunts or dreaming about smashing some random girl. girls walk around like they're tools and guys just fiendin' for them. and i noticed, i felt nothing wrong with that, or until i really thought about it.


i recall spending time with many people (especially the youth) from emc on good old new years where i got time to re-examine my faith life and walk with god. right as new years struck,  i took time to also bond with jonathan chen. after maybe 30 minutes, i noticed more and more people started to stay to listen to our conversations; even though it was just between the two of us (haha, nosy!) after sharing our problems and prayer requests, we started to move deeper (deeper) into the conversation until we started talking about predestination, the human race and such.


lord of the flies by william golding is a novel which expresses man's innate evilness, and so i thought: "are we just born with this evil?"


"god doesn't send us to hell, we send ourselves to hell" yeah, yeah. i've heard that.


"well, eve (and adam) ate from the tree of knowledge so it's our fault" okay...


then i started to think, "how can we be created from the image of god and end up being so crude" a creation made by none other than the most perfect god himself became distorted by selfish desires. i don't know, it doesn't make much sense to me. 


everyone these days just wants to grow up and become something they're not. as if they want to take on the burden that they can't handle. but, doesn't that show even more childish behavior? kids want what they can't have, teenagers take what they can't have and want more. teenagers live like adults and speed to control their life.


I sound confused, I know
For what shall it profit a man to gain the whole world
Then lose his soul
For the longest I was riding high, cruise control
In my own mind making up the rules as I go
I swear it's not just my imagination
I heard a voice guiding me, navigation
Is it the road I chose or should I check the steering
Took a couple wrong turns, selective hearing
Is it fact or just my premonition
I see what's going on now, High Definition 
                                                        jin - angels


i just wish teens would give up trying to live such a "cool life" and realize ...


they gonna die.


but isn't it natural for man to want that high social status. to keep his ego. be mad fly. not for just the secular, but for the religious. should we be religious or obedient?


just wish we (and that's including me) would realize it's not about the attention you get from others, it's the attention you get from god. why trade your soul for a piece of the world? 


do something now before it's too late.


lecrae - background ft. c-lite


"I'm sticking to your script, and I'm reading all your signs. 
I don't need my name in lights. 
I don't need a starring role. 
And why gain the whole wide world, if I'm just gon' loose my soul."

so, it is currently 11am that i am writing this on the day i should probably be going to school to pick up my report card and such...


i awoke much earlier to my mother yelling at me because she thought i actually had classes today. Being someone who hates mornings, i was not feeling good about knowing that i had to be up to go to school. luckily, i had asked my cousin last night if she had wanted to go to school with me. although we didn't go to school together, she did say we could go home together. 


the whole time, i felt terrible. not because i made my cousin wait for me, of course not ;) she loves me. but more so that i didn't want to see my chemistry grade. curious on why? 


perhaps i shall reveal it to my billion fans!


for some odd reason, the tests i've been taking in chemistry haven't been so good. see, in my chemistry class, if you are able to get a "gold medal" (highest test grade in the class) you are exempt from doing homework. my mindset in my teacher's class was only to get that gold medal, therefore i wouldn't need to do his homework. good thinking right? nope.


after a while, i just chose to survive off the classwork and class lessons, but that wasn't enough, especially with all of the breaks in between days. the fact that i neglected actually remembering and studying for chemistry (and other classes) i ended up getting a seventy on one of his tests (on stoichiometry). or was it 72? but that's a pretty bad grade compared to my previous 100s. what made it hurt more was that i actually had to do homework. as you can see, my thinking was only that i had to do more work. but, i was hoping that the 70 grade was only an accident. my second chance was really in the midterm. also, my teacher offered test corrections on that test as well, so i could have bumped my score back to around an 84. perfect, but i couldn't even give it in because of my sickness. i feel ... like pastor sang.


so, I take the midterm. easy. i got so much answers from friends, and i didn't even have to ask them for questions, they just threw them at me. i knew i had gotten two questions incorrect, but I was feeling hot about the rest of my answers. i get it back two days later and i get to see a terribly red:


                                 '79'


not only was i curious to know how I could have gotten a 79, i was now more concerned of my grade and how it would drop.


and don't tell me, "hey, it's only two grades, you have another marking period." or maybe you're not thinking that, and you're being a jerk, but it's okay... no, it's not, really. 


after actually starting to worry about my chemistry midterm and such, I became very concerned about my other midterms. i worried about my english grade because my teacher was very, very biased in grading. i was worried about my math research grade, because i always sucked in that class. i was worried about everything, because having all my tests drop on the third marking period would mean that it would get put into my transcript. but, good news, my fellow friends. my average actually got bumped up! it's not the best and yes i dropped in certain areas, but c'mon, it was a few points. i was so happy, because i realized i could check for all my stuff online (except metro card) so i don't even have to go to school... i'm lazy.


latin: 96 -> 96
math: 96 -> 93
math rsrch: 86 -> 86
english: 81 -> 93
global: 88 -> 91
chemistry: 94 -> 90


thank you lord! surely he has given me a second chance. a chance to actually think about my grades for once. i know, it's just school, and really, i didn't care so much before. but hey, i don't want to throw my life away. god really gave me a revolution about my own outlook for my own education. you know what? if i should be a nerd, i guess i will be one. but really, i don't see that happening 8)


when i had seen my overall average was actually higher than my previous average, all the hype and suspense, the burden and fear flew out my heart. 


and i know now, jesus has a reason.


i mean, what better way to knock my senses back by scaring it into me? and so, i feel i have a commitment i should make. not just for myself. definitely not for my family (haha). but for jesus. he is my father right? i should at least make him happy. so yes, i do care about my grades quite a bit, since i'm accustomed for those 90 plus grades.


itaque (that's latin ;]), im planning to commit to:


1 stay in all my classes (don't get sick or anything)
2 get an even higher average (work harder)
3 do all my homework (cause i don't)
4 participate more (i already do)
5 study (study) [study]


hmm, wow. i'm surprised. i actually blogged. claps for me please!


now, the only way to really end this is to give my thanks to god once more. not just because he helped save my grades, but because he allowed me to get worried and frustrated so that i could really see the big picture. 


don't take the easy way out, because following jesus was never the easy way out. following jesus requires much more action than anything else. you never heard jesus taking the easiest way back to heaven with god. nope, he chose to be crucified. he was beaten and broken by his very own creation. 


don't rely on yourself to keep those grades up, because obviously i sucked at it, haha. got too caught up with other things, that i let it slip slowly. and it's so easy, really. 


hillsong united - second chance